Bratting—easily one of my favorite things, yet one of the most misunderstood. The fear of being misinterpreted in play has, at times, made me hesitate, holding back from fully embracing what brings me pleasure. I’ve avoided hard conversations, hidden from parts of the community, and even downplayed my own desires just to avoid being labeled "difficult." But I think things are shifting. The outdated idea that brats are just "bad subs" is finally starting to fade.
So, let’s get into it—misconceptions, nuances, and all. Whether you're a domme or a sub, there’s always more to learn. And who better to break it down than the biggest brat of them all? (Sorry, Charli.)
Brats Need to Be Broken
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard that brats need to be "broken," especially as submissives. But breaking a brat means stripping away the playful, mischievous energy that makes them who they are. It’s not about erasing a personality; it’s about shaping a dynamic that works for both partners.
There’s a difference between breaking someone and training them. Training values the uniqueness of a dynamic and reinforces behaviors that enhance the connection. Taming a brat means meeting them at their mischievous best and challenging them in a way that nurtures submission, all while staying within the dominant’s framework.
Looking for ways to twist your brat’s brain? Here’s a list of 12 devious ways to dish it back.
Brats Just Like to Be Disrespectful
One of the biggest misconceptions is that bratting is about being rude, disobedient, or outright disrespectful. In reality, it’s much more nuanced. Every brat has their own reason for bratting, but ultimately, it’s about playfully challenging authority—something we could all use a little more of in this bleak world.
What might look like disrespect is often a sign that the brat feels safe and comfortable enough to push back. A brat thrives on mutual understanding, not actual disrespect.
Brats Lack Structure and Rules
Yes, many brats love to break rules. Hot. But that doesn’t mean they don’t love structure. Quite the opposite, actually—brats crave clear, detailed guidelines. They just love testing them.
Brats thrive on finding loopholes, using curiosity, wit, and mischief to challenge the framework they’re given. A well-structured brat dynamic has clear boundaries and agreed-upon rules—it’s just that the fun lies in toeing the line.
I’ve also heard bratting compared to Consensual Non-Consent (CNC), with some saying brats just want to be "forced" to submit. Maybe? Depends on the brat. It’s a conversation worth having, but for some people, the two dynamics do overlap. But not always.
Brats Are Bad Subs
If you believe this, Ihave the joy of informing you that you are a certified loser. (Half kidding.) But in all seriousness, I think this idea mostly comes from people who aren’t experienced dominants—or at least, that’s been my experience.
The belief that brats aren’t "submitting correctly" assumes that submission is a one-size-fits-all, automatic process. It’s not. Submission looks different for everyone. There’s no "too much" or "too little," no right or wrong way—just what works for the people involved.
Brats actually challenge dominants to be better. They encourage deeper communication, sharper wit, and more intentional control. If anything, a brat will force a dominant to refine their approach rather than just relying on obedience.
I’ve written a bit about my own insecurities with bratting here & here.
Brats Always Want to ‘Win’ or Be in Control
Maybe? Again, it depends on the brat. But overall, I think most brats don’t care about "winning"—they just enjoy the challenge.
Bratting is a way to safely question authority, push boundaries, and play. Not all brats want control, and most don’t need to "win" anything. They just want to stir the pot a little.
And again, consent and respect matter. A brat should know their limits, and a dominant should be able to hold their ground. That’s what makes it fun.
Bratting Is Childish
Bratting is not the same as throwing a tantrum. A childish tantrum is impulsive and messy. Bratting, on the other hand, is strategic, playful, and fully intentional.
Brats love outwitting or provoking a reaction from their dominant—not because they’re immature, but because they crave mental stimulation and engagement. Congrats you need mental stimulation to be turned on. Welcome to the club
At its core, playfulness keeps relationships interesting. Flirting, teasing, and banter make things fun, whether in kink or everyday life. Bratting is just another way to tap into that, adding an extra layer of push-and-pull.
Bratting Is a One-Sided Dynamic
A brat/dominant dynamic only works when both people are into it. Brats push, dominants push back—it’s a game, a challenge, a dynamic that keeps things exciting.
Some dominants love taming a brat because it forces them to rethink their own style of dominance. Others just love the witty banter. Either way, it’s a two-way exchange. If it ever feels one-sided, it’s probably a sign of mismatched dynamics, or a sign more conversations are needed, not a flaw in bratting itself.
**
Bratting isn’t one-size-fits-all—but then again, neither is life. Especially not in kink. So go talk, explore, and be nice to each outher. Actually…don’t.
Help me grow! Subscribe to my email newsletter.
.png)
