I’m hot, on occasion. But it takes effort. Sometimes I love the effort more than other times, but nonetheless, I still do it. At any rate, here are some things I do as part of my health and beauty routine, as well as some more holistic, personality-based things. Being hot is also a state of mind. I don’t think anything I mention below is necessary or something people need to do. But as a perpetual Reddit lurker, I know people are curious about what others do (BECAUSE I’M A NOSY ASS BITCH WHO READS WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO), so why not talk about it? In short, just make the effort. Effort is literally the hottest thing you can do.
Beauty
Get a Good Tailor
There's nothing hotter than a well-fitted outfit. It makes you look put together, even if you don't feel like it. A good tailor's job is to make you look good, so shop around, ask for recommendations, and don't hesitate to communicate your preferences. If they can't deliver what you want (except for fabric constraints), move on.
Smell Good
Find a fragrance that suits you, whether it's warm florals, woody scents, or something more kinky. But remember, fragrance is just one aspect. What I’m about to say is said with love, and as someone who has been in a lot of queer spaces: babes, some of you need to start wearing deodorant with chemicals and showering daily. I love a good body wash, like this Coriander one from Aesop, that I layer with a body oil or moisturizer, and top with a fragrance. This is a bit ritualistic for me and I love to take time to reflect while doing it.
Find a Good Surgeon
I’ve never met an injectable I didn’t like. Botox, Juvederm, I love it all. But I believe less is more, someone who tells you no sometimes is good. When seeking cosmetic procedures, find a surgeon who advocates for restraint. Personal recommendations are valuable, but platforms like RealSelf can also be useful. While I've had positive experiences overall, I wish I had explored more options before settling on my current surgeon. Consulting multiple doctors can provide a grounded perspective.
Discover Your Style
Take the time to explore what makes you feel comfortable and confident in your clothing choices. Finding your personal style can be challenging, but it's worth the effort. Dressing for yourself boosts confidence and enhances your presence in social situations, making it easier to connect with others. This self-assurance often makes you more intriguing to others, sparking their interest in getting to know you better.
Take Care of Your Skin
Seriously, take care of your skin, babes. Go to a dermatologist for yearly skin exams, especially if skin cancer runs in your family. Find a routine that works for you. I used to do the multi-step thing, but less is more for me now. I add retinol as needed. Also, water does help your skin imo, so stay hydrated, thirsty bitch. I’ve found my skin (and body) prefers minimal salt and sugar, which is tough as a dirty gin martini girl.
Emotional / Personality
Learn How to Hold a Conversation
I love being chronically online, but babes, sometimes it's not helping. Being able to hold a conversation is hot and always will be. How? First, fucking listen. Pay attention and ask follow-up questions like, "How did you get into that? What's your favorite part?" Bonus points if you can relate it to something else. Conversations don't always flow, so know when to exit gracefully. Don't force it. If you want a connection, make sure to follow up.
Be Confident, Not Cocky
Confidence is hot, and yeah, sometimes that means faking it until you make it. But don’t overdo it, because it can become arrogant really quickly. I’m not quite sure I have all the right words for this, but I have found that the most truly confident people don’t feel the need to overhype themselves or talk about themselves as if they are better than others. And as embarrassing as this is, I was totally that person. Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s more intense therapy, shit, maybe it’s a glow-up, but once I realized I didn’t need to prove myself to others was when I felt like my confidence actually became real. The ones who see me will see me.
Go to Therapy (Maybe)
Some of you don’t belong in therapy. Some people (my mother) can weaponize therapy language. But generally, therapy is helpful for recognizing behavior patterns and providing the tools to fix them.
Be Uncomfortable
I truly believe the best way to get past something is to run directly into it. Like seriously, run headfirst into that motherfucker. Go through all of it, and embrace every minute of it. I just don’t think it’s possible to grow or be hot without knowing how to manage discomfort.
Be Nice
That’s all.
Physical
Wear Sunscreen + Sun Protection
I know I won’t shut up about it, but babes, please wear sunscreen. For my body, I like aerosol SPF 40—so easy to apply. I love Vacation's, but anything from Target works too. For my face, Shiseido's SPF 42 is my holy grail, along with a tinted moisturizer from Nars. I also try to stay out of direct sun, and not just because I think vampires are kinda hot. Only kinda.
Get Moving, Binch
Seriously, I spent too long not moving enough. Mostly because I had a really bad relationship with working out, and I blame 2002. But in time I have found working out and moving my body is something I really enjoy. Something that really helped me was realizing you should actually look like you’re working out when you’re working out. Like it’s okay to be hot, sweaty, and out of breath. It’s the fucking gym. Sounds silly, but for the longest time, I had so many feelings about being fat and being seen as out of shape. Doing this helped me find how I like to move, and it turns out it’s swimming and lifting weights. It helps me feel the good kind of tired while also regulating all the weird shit I have going on in my head.
Financial
Know Your Finances
I know it’s hard, it can be so anxiety-inducing. But trust me, hot babes know their finances. They know where their money is going, what their goals are, and are willing to learn what steps they can take to make those goals a reality. To be honest, right now I’m in a pay-down-my-debt and rebuild-my-savings journey. I hate it. But I know it’s what’s best for me in the long run.
Invest in Yourself
The best investments are in yourself and your career. Be strategic and research thoroughly to ensure it's worthwhile. Hold yourself accountable for your choices.
Career
Have a Goal
This is my Capricorn moon coming in….but career goals are hot, and they don’t have to be financial. Whatever you want to be, aim to be the fucking best. Set a goal, break it into smaller steps, and work towards them.
Listen to Those Who’ve Done the Work
Hotties don’t take advice from people who haven’t done the work. They do their research on people in their field and don’t take career (or life) advice from anyone whose career (or life) they don’t want. Go be a hottie.
My Personal Beauty Routine
Alright, so this is usually what I’m most nosy about in the Reddit forums, so let’s get into it. This is my beauty routine as of today, May 2024, so it’s subject to change, I guess?
In terms of skincare, I get quarterly Diamond Glow microdermal facials with a light PCA. My skin will peel over the course of the week, but I find it worth it. I also get a lip flip (Botox) quarterly. I have been slowly adding Botox around my forehead into my routine, although this is far less frequent than my lip flip. I also get filler in my lips every 18 months to two years, a very minimal amount though. I have gotten a cosmetic procedure but don’t wish to talk about it, yet still want to be transparent. My daily skincare includes a light glycolic acid pad in the morning and evening, with a more intense one once a week. I like this one. I also use a moisturizer, eye cream, and a face wash prescribed by my dermatologist. I see my dermatologist about once a year. Occasionally, I use an eye mask or face mask but have found it can be a bit clogging for me. When I get acne, I always use these pimple patches from Mighty Patch. I’ll try other products from time to time; right now I’m playing around with Retonoid Sleeping Oil by Sunday Riley. It’s lovely, but I’m still not sure if I will be repurchasing.
I also use the nuface daily. I am absolutely in love and swear by it! It’s essentially a micro electro current devise used to tone your face muscles over time. It’s a steep price, but I do find it works if you use it regularly. It’s not going to give you instant results, but it will give you results. I also use a gua nearly every day.
For haircare, I like to get my hair cut and dyed once a quarter as well. I will usually go for a bang trim twice in between. I recently got a streak of unwarranted confidence that led me to the most TERF of microbangs that one has ever seen. I like to use shampoo from Ouai—great scent and very cleansing—and Olaplex conditioner. Once a week I’ll also do a K-18 hair mask, but be sure to read the directions on those. I also use a Mason Pearson brush. Expensive, but life-changing. They last a lifetime and their boar bristles help bring oil from your scalp down to other parts of your hair. I also use hair oil on my ends.
Before I shower, I’ll dry brush if I can remember. I like to moisturize when I get out of the shower. Right now I’m using the OSEA body oil, it’s lovely. If you are looking for a better bang for your buck, I highly recommend the Neutrogena oil. Throughout the day, I’ll use cuticle oil and hand cream. If you can get your hands on the Nivea cream imported from Germany, get it. It’s so much better than the stuff here. Total La Mer dupe.
Other random things in my routine include whitening strips, regular manicures and pedicures, and chiropractor visits.
Listen, babes, at the end of the day, do whatever the fuck you want. Be hot, be ugly, who cares? Because in all honesty, that's what makes you hot. Saying fuck it, I'm going to be me, and I'm going to love every second of it.
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